Peer Norms
In the mid-2000s, the psychologist and Stanford professor Carol Dweck published Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, distilling decades of research focused on the idea that all of us hold one of two core beliefs about our abilities and potential. Those with a so-called “fixed mindset” generally think that things like intelligence and creativity are static traits, something people either have or don’t. Those with a “growth mindset,” on the other hand, think abilities can be developed through effort, strategy, and help. After her research showing how a growth mindset is a precursor to achievement and overall life satisfaction across various domains—school, work, sports, the arts—sparked widespread interest in its implementation, Dweck and a team of about a dozen other researchers launched one of the largest, most rigorous studies on the impact growth mindset interventions on life outcomes. Among other things, Dweck explained that they wanted to identify the circumstances in which mindset fails to drive positive outcomes. They found, she said, that the effects of mindset are largely negated “when someone in the growth mindset condition dwells where peer norms aren’t favorable.”
When peer norms are and aren’t favorable—that’s the theme of this SIX at 6…
You’re Wasting Your Time With Those Puppets
In 1954, at his local library, Jim Henson checked out 2 books on puppetry. Soon after he read them, he started making puppets, performing puppetry, and considering a career as a puppeteer. Then one day at school, Jim was holding one of his puppets when a teacher said to him, “You [are] wasting your time with those puppets.” Jim began to think that she might be right, and from that point on, he said, “I didn’t take puppetry seriously…It didn’t seem to be the sort of thing a grown man works at for a living…I decided to chuck it all.” Not long after he chucked the dream of being a puppeteer, Jim “wandered over to Europe” without a plan. It turned out to be a turning point in his life. To his surprise, in Europe, puppetry was a highly regarded art form. “That was the first time I’d ever met any other puppeteers,” Jim said. “They were very serious about their work. It was at that point I realized puppetry was an art form, a valid way to do really interesting things.” After being in a different place where there were different puppetry norms, Jim said, “I came back from that trip all fired up to do wonderful puppetry.” And for the rest of his life, Jim did wonderful puppetry, performing with his classic characters: Kermit the Frog, Bert and Ernie, Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, Cookie Monster, Big Bird, and on and on.
Surrounded By Friends Who Told Him He Was Wasting His Time…
The subject of Michael Lewis’ The Blind Side, Michael Oher was a homeless kid living in a North Memphis housing project known as Hurt Village when he was taken in by family and admitted to a school where, surrounded by more favorable peer norms, he thrived both academically and athletically. Oher earned a scholarship to the University of Mississippi, became a unanimous All-American, a first-round NFL draft pick, and a Super Bowl champion. Before all that, in Hurt Village, Oher lived just a few doors down from Zachary Bright. Like Oher, Bright was one of the top high school football prospects in the country, with scholarship offers from every major program. One recruiting analyst wrote, “Zachary Bright has the potential to be a big-time offensive tackle.” But Bright quit playing football before his senior year. Michael Lewis writes in The Blind Side, “Surrounded by friends who told him that he’d be wasting his time to even try college, he quit.” When legendary Florida State Coach Bobby Bowden personally visited Hurt Village to recruit him, Bright hid until Bowden was gone. Reflecting on it later, Bright said, “Guys who were around said, ‘Everyone can’t make it to the NFL,’ telling me I wasn’t really gonna make it.” Dwelling in their doubts, Bright adopted a fixed mindset and quit. He’d shake his head in wonder, saying that if his peer norms had been more favorable, “I feel like I could [have done] something.”
With A Bunch Of Guys Just Like You
At 17, Quentin Tarantino moved to LA with ambitions of being a filmmaker. He got a job at a video store, Video Archives, and, he said, “I got caught up in the little life there…and for a few years, it put my ambitions to sleep. Because I was happy enough.” Then one night, an older guy named Steve-O who Tarantino worked and lived with vented about how he was disgusted with his life.
“He starts ranting,” Tarantino said, “He goes, ‘you know Quentin, you think that we’re this really great group of friends, that we’re this really great crew.’”
“Well we are!” Quentin replied.
“Quentin,” Steve-O said, “at 20, I worked at South Bay Cinemas, and I hung out with a bunch of guys just like you…Then I worked at Miller’s Outpost for 4 years, and I hung out with a bunch of guys just like you…Then I worked at Licorice Pizza for 4 years with a bunch of guys just like you. I’ve wasted my life hanging out with a bunch of guys just like you.”
Tarantino was about to turn 25 at this time, and not long before Steve-O’s rant, he said, “I was starting to have my own little, ‘Okay, well, what have I done with my life so far? So far fucking nothing.’ So I’m having my own little anxiety, hitting 25, but I’m seeing what it’s like when you’re in your 30s and you’re in this situation.”
Not wanting to be in that situation in his 30s—that night, after Steve-O’s rant, Tarantino had what he called his “Quentin Detest Fest”—“I stayed up all night long looking at everything that I’m fucking up in my life, everything that I’m doing wrong. Not giving myself any fucking excuses, laying out everything I’m doing wrong. And then I spent the last two hours figuring out how I can change it.” “And as opposed to just doing it and going to get some sleep and then you forget about it and fall back into your routine, I decided to change my life.”
Tarantino’s first change was relocating from the South Bay to Koreatown, closer to the movie-making action in Hollywood. Not long after he moved to the Hollywood area, he said, “I met a guy who wrote low-budget horror movies. Through him, I met other writers…You meet one person, and they introduce you to three others. Now all of a sudden, I actually knew people who were making movies.”
In the mix, surrounded by peers who were making movies, Tarantino started writing his own scripts and helping other writers with theirs. Soon, when those writers would get asked to do rewrites on projects, if they couldn’t take the job, they’d recommend Quentin.
“And within a year and a half from moving out of the South Bay and moving into the Hollywood area,” Tarantino said, “literally, within a year and a half, I was able to make a living as a writer.”
Go To The Artists’ Colony
Walt Disney moved to Hollywood in 1923 after almost a decade of trying and failing to make it as a cartoonist in Kansas City, Missouri. Dave Chappelle moved to New York City to pursue a comedy career. Bob Dylan moved to Greenwich Village to pursue his music ambitions. Arnold Schwarzenegger moved to Venice Beach. Taylor Swift moved to Nashville. And Tarantino moved to Hollywood to wake up his filmmaking ambitions. The comedian Jerrod Carmichael said of leaving his hometown in North Carolina and moving to Los Angeles, “LA has the best comedians and you want to be around the best…You kind of have to create or go to the artists’ colony for whatever you do.”
Lewin’s Equation
In 1936, the psychologist Kurt Lewin came up with a simple equation, capturing much of what we know about human behavior: B = ƒ(P, E):
Behavior is a function of the person in their environment.
You gotta create or go to where the peer norms are favorable.